An update... Sorry it took so long.

Well it has been a crazy couple of weeks and I am at a loss by now... I feel like a part of me is dying more and more. Faith has had a rough couple of weeks. Her bowels are just not acting right and each colostomy flush is having us hold her down more and more.
Lydia was home this weekend and was able to take Faith on Saturday so that I could work the downtown festival. That was such a big help and I am so apprecaitive of that. She may never know how much.
Sunday was complete hell... I pushed both Faith and I to far and in the end it was not good. Faith tries so hard but it is so hard on her to face this each day.
My pain is out of control no matter what I do (pain meds- lots of pain meds, massage, rest, whatever) I can not get through it. It brings tears to my eyes that at 30 years old, I have four young children to take care of and I can not do it. Everything I do brings pain. No matter what and not in one or two spots but all over my body. I just can't get any relief. Patrick tells me that there are so many people out there that are worse than me and I can do it if they can. Well that helps.... :(. I mean I have a sick child to take care of, 3 other children Isn't that enough for one person. I have lost all of me atleast it fells like that. I can not do anything, go anywhere... Everyone forgets about me becasue I am out of site but I am still lonely.

Well Faith is headed back to the OR this week some bowel work. Update more after than!!!